Day 24

Tuesday 10/12/2013

Didn't sleep too well at all last night.. I hate to admit it but missing boobie so much.. I just want to hold her and close my eyes and fall asleep.. I wish her memory would go away.. I wish she would just leave me now and let me be.. she's took my heart.. she's took my dignity.. what more does she want..

Really foggy here.. loads of traffic on the way to work.. traffic is not good for me.. makes me think too much.. I'm ok when I'm on the motorway.. driving along.. feel really sick.. weighed myself this morning and I've lost a fair bit of weight too.. mind is all over the place.. can't think straight at all.. forgot my pass today too.. not been a good day so far :-(

just had soup for lunch.. got salad to have for later on.. still feel really tight chested like I can't breathe properly.. got a bit of a headache.. not really feeling too good at all today.. work has been slow and really not enough to keep me distracted at all..

going to the other building soon to do some work.. so hopefully that will be a healthy distraction.. really hate myself right now.. not feeling too positive.. I see her everywhere I look.. I've been through worse.. I will get through this and I will be a better person from it..  Come on Move on.. let her go.. forget her.. focus on urself.. forgive urself and enjoy urself.. have fun and stop thinking if she is ok and what she is doing.. she's no longer urs to worry about.. let go!!!!!!!!!

Went to gym and just jogged for half an hour.. didn't do any weights and just jogged.. I'm really enjoying jogging it's only time I feel some peace and comfort.. the only time my heart doesn't ache.. I wish I could just keep on jogging till my legs fall off or I forget who boobie was.. like in Forest Gump..

Went home and me and housemate ordered some pizza.. I couldn't eat much again but I forced myself to eat..  I was feeling really depressed and then me and my housemate had a good chat to talk about stuff and he helped put perspective on things... that did relax me..

we had a little sing along to some sad love songs.. and I enjoyed that I could relate to these songs.. see that my love was true and that people have gone through this and hopefully it'll work out for the best..