Monday 9th December
Didn't sleep too well again last night.. I went to bed at 10:30 got out of bed at 8am.. between that I'm not sure how much solid sleep I got.. I kept trying to forgive boobie and let her go but I know deep down I am still really angry with her.. can't believe it all ended like this.. didn't see me and boobie would drift apart like this and that hurts so much.. I think I've forgot the sound of her voice :-( I'm feeling really sick today.. I won't be surprised if I actually do throw up at some point today..
Working from home today.. need to concentrate and get my work done.. need to stay focused as much as I can.. Driving down later on.. would normally be seeing boobie tonight :-( don't think I'll ever get used to this.. the journeys and the memories are too painful... I still love her and I still miss her no matter how hard I try..
Been feeling little better today.. not thinking about boobie as much.. I do still think of her but I just try and drive the thoughts away.. been busy with work and I've managed to eat a little better today... feeling really sleepy... nearly fell asleep at lunch time.. I been forcing myself to smile and be bit more positve today.. just get me out this strop and miserable mood.. oooh so bloody hungry.. I need to eat a little more.. I think I need to eat a little but often.. I don't think I can eat too much in one go..
Went gym and trained a little chest.. my bro's mate was there so that was good and we had a little chat too.. didn't really do much.. started feeling really sick after a while...
Just got down south.. the drive down wasn't too bad.. I was yawning a lot.. but I didn't feel that sleepy.. I had the music on and it was dark and i don't know kinda felt weirdly relaxing.. I actually felt like painless for a while.. maybe it's focusing on the road and just listening to the music is a good distraction..
Had a little chat with my housemate and gonna get ready for bed... this is the tough part.. hopefully I manage a good nights sleep.. fingers crossed... xxx
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